Recalling memories centered around sexualization, assault, and the loss of innocence, “Visiones de la memoria” is a body of work exploring the relationship between the body and self, the perspective of trauma on memory, and the camera’s subjective influence.
I became very sexualized by those around me and online at a young age into my teenage years. I was shoved into a world where my being and identity were centered around my body. I could not exist without my body being perceived first, and it became an all-consuming part of my identity that stripped me of the carefree innocence a child should have. Over time these memories and experiences began to warp and what I had locked away came back in waves, appearing when I would least expect them to. Feeling like a stranger in my body, I could not separate what I experienced and how I held onto that trauma.
Showing my relationship between my body and the memories it holds, the images show my body layered with objects and projections to construct the distorted space that lives in my memories. Exposing the clouded perception I made and the reality at hand, the different elements in the images are symbols of my trauma. Using the camera’s ability to create a visual of the memories and adding a claim makes sense of truthfulness. Each image stands as a physical manifestation and actualization of my memories. The reconstructed memories lie under the layers in each image to reveal the objective perspective of trauma on my body.
Inserting my hand to make a physical record of how I felt stripped of my innocence and identity, the images are made using the alternative process of salted paper prints. Each piece of paper is hand coated with several chemicals, exposed to UV light, and then processed. A solidified space where the association between the body’s experience and trauma existed as a whole, the grainy appearance mimics the feeling of nostalgia and remembrance.
17x20 in Salted Paper Prints
Salted paper requires three solutions, a salted paper solution that is sodium chloride, a 12% silver nitrate solution that makes the paper light-sensitive, and a fixer, crystalline sodium thiosulphate, which makes the image permanent. The salted paper solution and silver nitrate need to have an equal amount of droplets on the piece of paper coated.