El Enemigo Vive en mi Mente

Project / 2019

A project based on the self-exploration of acknowledging my mental health while being creative. I created the project as a way for me to personally express what I feel like during a time period where my mental health declines and my control of things and situations around me begin to disappear. As I am constantly creating multiple works with various deadlines, I am often put into this dark mental state when I am creating.

El Enemigo Vive en Mi Mente describes the overwhelming feeling of losing control of my surroundings and the perception of things when my control and plans fall apart.  Being buried by negative thoughts, the first thing to physically break apart is the organization and cleanliness of my living space. This project was shot entirely in my little 2 bedroom apartment to show how the space around me is affected by my perception due to my mental health. Using common objects as the subject matter, I am provoking the sense of being taken over by day-to-day objects and tasks that I can no longer handle.

What starts as one simple object has been repeated and overlapped, expressing how the objects in the space begin to crumble and distort as they fill up space. These objects represent fragility, anxiety, and self-doubt to create patterns that showcase the progression of my mind becoming my enemy as everything around me falls apart.

4x5 B&W film

Using 4x5 Black and White film, they are printed on a 30x40 premium luster roll paper. Their physical size shows how much space they take up altogether and how it becomes harder to recognize where the object starts and finishes.